Finally: a phone us less smart people!

Someone I know who’s a nurse had a “revalidation” catalog with all sort of helpful things in it like those long hands to pull on your circulation socks and stuff.
She told me there was a mobile phone for me in there. Too bad I can only find German sites about it, but here it is:
the Sentel600

It does what I’ve wanted in a mobile phone: it makes calls, and it receives calls. It also has alarms for when you’ve fallen and can’t get up, but, whatever.

No camera, no stopwatch/alarm clock, no text messaging, no mail, no apps, no nothing. Finally, a phone that’s come down to MY level of understanding! And a screen font I can actually read. And buttons I can push without needing to use my fingernails (my current phone, which is out of commission, requires hard points to make the buttons even work).

Am I the only moron who can’t work mobile phones? Anyway, it’s 130 euros if I order through the catalog. Among friends we’re calling it “the retard phone” as it’s made for people just like me who can’t figure out how all that extra fancy stuff we never wanted in the first place works.

I didn’t buy a “senior phone” earlier because around here they only have 6 buttons. I guess you pre-program the grandkids’ and doctor’s numbers in them. I wanted all the buttons but none of the phone fluff that’s mandatory on regular phones (if I want a camera I’ll buy… a camera).

I’ve been able to live that way for a long time. But if I start traveling regularly by train every day, they (trains) are much too unreliable. You can never say you’ll be somewhere by x time. Back when I was on the trains every day, that is when I used my mobile. That was 2+ years ago and apparently I’ve been disconnected due to lack of use. But it was never fun to use.

I guess this is a phone for old people, like the “Big Button” land line phone they sell here in the States. Other than being horrendously ugly I guess it might work great (can’t read German so I dunno what it says)

I do not own a cell phone. I got a land line phone at my house that seems to work ok. It rings, I answer it, someone either says something or they hang up. Most of my friends that have cell phones generally get agitated, or depressed when theirs rings so I want to avoid that.

Plus when I am “out of the office” I’m “out of the office”. My GF gets days off from work and her cell rings then she has to goto work on her day off, not me.

I don’t have a problem understanding how to use phones, but I don’t like complicated phones simply because it makes them tedious to navigate. I don’t use 95% of my phones features. All I want to do is:

1). Make calls:
2). Receive calls:
3). Send text (Only because this is cheap. If prices came down I’d just call).
4). Save numbers.

That’s it! It’s all I want. I don’t want GPS, Cameras, Radios, Egg beaters, toast or the Internet. If I want to go on the frickin’ Internet, that’s what computers are for! If I want music, I turn on the radio, or an MP3 player. If I want to take a picture, I use a camera.

The ONLY time I want a phone that can do everything is if I don’t have to do a single thing to make it happen. If I have a phone where I can say:

Phone, Camera – Then I can start taking pictures
Phone, Radio 101.9FM - Then I can listen to the radio
Phone, make me a sandwich! – Then I can eat a sandwich…

THEN, I’ll use it. But until that phone comes out, I want all this cheap, gimmicky, carnival stuff out of my life – out of my mind, and I don’t want to even know it exists.

Or to put it another way. I love pizza, but if I have to eat a microwave pizza from the supermarket, I’d rather drop kick it over the closest persons head and just have a sandwich. I think all supermarket pizza companies should be burned. All companies that make anything less that quality should be burned. And cheap, gimmicky products should be burned and the people who create and push them should be jailed. They make my life sad.