Free advice! Ask me anything!
Note: I didn’t necessarily say ‘good’ advice.
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Ooh Ooh! Like our own, personal California Psychic (just saw the commercial, which made me think of it…)
What are the next winning lottery numbers? 
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What can I do to prevent painful sh**s? What dietary advice?
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To build off that, how can we get in his will if he is NOT going to make it? Hoping he has some life insurance policy…!
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Certainly, Dave. I’ll tell you in a week.
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hmm, It’s clear to me you need more roughage in your diet. As that old song goes, ‘Mares eat oats and does eat oats’ – Get to munching, buddy!
If he does, remember perseverance is the key!
On an unrelated note; be sure to stop by my armory. I’ll give you a good price.
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Will I ever finish my personal website?
Will purple be the new black?
Will there ever be real world peace?
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What is the meaning of life? How many days until I die? Should I bet on black with my entire retirement savings?
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Why? (or as people in Shakespeare’s day used to say - wherefore?)
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The real question is, will your website finish you?
…Just never visit Soviet Russia.
Prince is out with a new album, but I have many friends these days telling me all about Orange being the New Black…
That depends. Do you mean with or without the presence of politicians?
Too easy.
Depends on if you ride bicycles like Ralph.
Absolutely! But remember, once you go black…
Wherefore not?
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Try increasing its z-index.
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Why would I? I’m never going to die … right?
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Is my life potentially in danger?
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What is the Airspeed Velocity of an unladen swallow?
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Good question. I’d also like to know the velocity of a binladen swallow.
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Tell me, do you happen to have a taste for brains?
No, but if Ralph comes shuffling up to you, run!
An unladen European swallow’s airspeed is 39.6 km/hr.
I’ll get back to you on the African Swallow after Ebola has passed.
Unladen: about 5 km/hr on average. Bullet-laden: 0.
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