opportunist86 — 2011-11-16T11:46:35-05:00 — #1
If you think no one likes you and that you are so introvert to mix with other people, what would you do? Would you transform your personality or just give the damn what other think?
crazybanana — 2011-11-16T12:40:53-05:00 — #2
I know a lot of people don't like me, but I don't care what people think of me. I live my life the way that pleases me, doing my own things, and I don't give a damn about what other people think
I don't think you can transform yourself into something that's not you, maybe for a while, but not permanently - and why should you. people don't change, so be happy with who you are
xhtmlcoder — 2011-11-16T16:52:45-05:00 — #3
We like you Crazy Ken.
Regarding the question if you are extremely introverted and are under the paranoid assumption nobody likes you then you'll never find out if you don't ask them.
The question is I assume under the presumption that this "friend" has difficulty with one-on-one or group communication and wants to socialise but cannot and is socially inept. In which case they would have to modify their behaviour. However, if this 'person' is happy being a loner or self-independent then it's not really a big problem them doing their "own thing".
Which leads us to the question; is it low self-esteem in this imaginary scenario of just a hypothetical question on whether you need to socialise to be happy or are comfortable with your own-self as company?
system — 2011-11-16T17:06:36-05:00 — #4
Isn't that the definition of a psychopath?
carlosbcg — 2011-11-16T17:07:14-05:00 — #5
I hear a lot of people say this or something like this but...well...I don't buy it.
I mean do you shave? Why? Do you comb your hair? Why? Do you clean your fingernails? Why?
See what I mean? If you really didn't care at all what others think would you not bother with such things?
I could name a hundred other things you probably do because...well...you do care what others think though there may to be sure be areas where you don't much care but not in the sense that you don't care at all.
carlosbcg — 2011-11-16T17:19:31-05:00 — #6
People liking us or not is often a reflection of how we view ourselves. As to whether we are likeable or not.
I assume people are going to like me unless I give them reason to do otherwise (which I generally do not do so people not liking me is usually not a problem per se unless they don't like me for reasons that I am unwilling to do anything about such as my stand on doing the right thing by God for example).
So the first thing would be to think about how one views oneself and to change that if it is not so good.
Secondly I would focus on being a friend to people who are less likeable than me. So go find the homeless, the disenfranchised, the social outcasts if you will...and befriend them. Show them kindness, invite them to lunch, talk to them about what might interest them, etc. It will do wonders for the view you have of yourself and to the degree that you learn to be unselfish in your dealings with others it will actually make you a much more likely fellow (or gal).
I personally can't stand being around people who are always talking about themselves. So don't be that. Be the opposite and become almost instantly likeable.
Which brings me to another point. An easy way to be likeable is to simply master the art of getting others to talk about themselves. Striking up conversations with strangers on public transportation is a great way to practice in that if you mess up...no big deal, you will probably never see who you messed up with again.
It's really easy to get others to talk about themselves. I do it all the time and find what people tell me to be generally pretty interesting (once you get them to talk and find an area that they feel strongly about).
Just find something to comment on about their person or what they are doing. Do they have unusual looking sandals? "I've never seen sandals like that before. Do you mind if I ask where you got them?".
How about a bunch of shopping bags? "You know I used to find it such a hassle to carry all these bags everywhere. I started using a cart I bought at a flea market instead. It helped a lot (and then shut up and let them respond if they care to)".
Nice behaved children? "I hope you don't me saying so but I couldn't help but be impressed with how well behaved your children are. Most kids can be so unruly (then shut up and let them talk if they care to)."
There are a hundred different things you could say to get others to talk about themselves.
Sometimes it's good to say something about yourself as an opener. Like "I hope it stops raining (while looking out at the clouds)"...again shut up and let them respond if they care to.
karin_sue — 2011-11-16T19:33:11-05:00 — #7
Are you talking about people disliking you, avoiding you when at all possible, or simply not liking you, not inviting you to join them in activities (not that they deliberately leave you out, you simply never occur to them.)
If the thought comes up, you are not happy with the way things are and should at least consider how you might want to change.
Is there something about you that is physically off-putting? Odor or appearance? Change what you can.
Do you talk too much, not enough, give offense, take offense, not listen, etc? Think about what you are saying.
Consider therapy or a twelve step program or self-help books if they may help.
Join a club and get involved with running the club. They are always looking for volunteers. Do volunteer work for a good cause. These are great ways to interact with people and build self-confidence.
Don't worry too much about what other people think of you. Think about who you want to be and work to become that person.
crazybanana — 2011-11-16T21:04:27-05:00 — #8
is it? I thought it was more like lack of empathy and remorse, shallow emotions, egocentricity, and deceptiveness.... :scratch:
but if not caring what other may think of me, and doing the things I love in life makes me a psychopath - then I guess I just have to live with it :rofl:
This is hilarious ha ha, this is some of the worst interpretations I've ever heard. where do you get such ideas from - of course I take a shower etc haha this is just dumb
What I was talking about was how you act and do in a community (and just to make things clear to you: yes, I do follow the law, and I believe in the law and the system) , what I was not talking about was how I would like to look like a toilet
well, you caused a good laugh for us here
btw, I don't have long fingernails
...try to not comb or wash long hair, and see what happens - try not to take everything to the extreme
PS: you don't think people can wash or comb their hair just to feel well ?
for over 20 years ago I used to pass by a cabin when I was visiting a national park - this was many hours walk into the mountains, and here lived a hermit, and you know what? both he and his cabin was clean - why would he bother when no one else was living here, and almost no people was visiting, and there were no roads there...
system — 2011-11-16T22:03:19-05:00 — #9
Looks like it to me since your original post ticks all the boxes :rofl:
But in any case, since you replied to my and other posts seems to show that, contrary to what you originally said, deep down you really do care what I and others think :lol:
crazybanana — 2011-11-17T02:19:02-05:00 — #10
Of course I care when you take it to the extreme, but this is to take it out of context what my post was about was not that I didn't care about anything - it had to do about not caring if people didn't like you, and that you should be proud of yourself and try to live your own life, and not someone elses life :rolleyes:
I don't know why it is so important to misunderstand and twist my answer, but next time I will write a tutorial on how my answer is supposed to be interpret :lol:
system — 2011-11-17T03:33:29-05:00 — #11
I rest my case your honour
opportunist86 — 2011-11-17T11:27:27-05:00 — #12
Crazybanana is correct I think. I also give the damn to people who pretend to be giving no importance to me or not like me. I'm nice with people and always try to be but still we are human. I often think most of the people don't enjoy my company with them. That was the reason I asked about transforming personality.
crazybanana — 2011-11-17T14:15:23-05:00 — #13
I still don't thnk you can change
Try to socialise with people that have more in common with you - I have few friends, but those I have is good friends, and I rather have a few good friends than a lot of false ones...
But hey thats me, but I'm a psycho...
system — 2011-11-17T15:26:08-05:00 — #14
I would definitely rethink about the way i live and if there is nothing wrong that i do, i would surely give a damn to what people think.
virtualoffice4u — 2011-11-18T04:30:29-05:00 — #15
I couldn't care what people think of me, I know I'm a nice person, so meh.
I would probably just accept it and let them live with hate their entire lives, that would be worth it
system — 2011-12-24T04:55:06-05:00 — #16
Oh then i'll always wear a mask so no one could recognize me.
anna2112 — 2011-12-27T23:19:21-05:00 — #17
ohhh,...as in nobody ??i dont know if thats possible...but if it is,,there is something wrong with you !! try to ask someone what he/she thinks of you...try self evaluation..for me there is nothing wrong to change if that will make you a better person. And the only permanent is this world is change. Goodluck
system — 2011-12-28T03:50:28-05:00 — #18
I don't care if people don't like me.. Because I'm not here to impress everyone.. This is my life. So i don't care about what others think of me..
abitha6 — 2012-01-08T23:51:48-05:00 — #19
If I feel one one likes me, I would look at people who are liked by all and try to observe some good thing in them and try to aadopt it.
tms_seo — 2012-01-10T22:39:05-05:00 — #20
all i can say is, you can't please everybody, no matter how friendly and approachable you are ^_^
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